ricotta cheesecake craving

when is the last time i ate cheese, let me count the days. i used to wake up on saturday mornings when i was smaller and watch tv. der! and some days my parents would go out somewhere and leave me there all alone or maybe they were still asleep upstairs. whichever sounds more pathetica, let's go with that. okay so there i am, an orphan, no food. i would get hungry, me and bugs, and esther bunny, watching jacques pepin on pbs, and go in search of things in our cupboard. often inspired, i would go downstairs and read cookbooks. my point of hunger would rise rise and i don't think i ever made anything great great like a chef. but it would come down to jelly and toast. or dry cereal. but they would taste like heaven because i was so starving. then hours later my parents would come home or would wake up and i would tell my mom how hungry i was and how i had to "cook" something myself. so she would offer me french toast or butter toast or cinnamon toast or scrambled eggs. beware. my mom makes the worst scrambled eggs. i love love my mom, but not her eggs. teehee. i guess they didn't have martha stewart living back then where martha shows you the secret to scrambled eggs: low heat. ours were sometimes lightly browned. and so ketchup was our friend. years later i still wake up and have no food to eat and go for as many hours as possible in hopes that watching foodtv will mask the hunger. and it hurts. i want my mommy.