deception

last night paco and i played video games for almost five hours. london was there too. i woke up this morning and the sun was shining through the windows making me hot. the sky is clear today. so blue i think i can walk outside in a t-shirt. no scarf, no mittens, no thermal underwear, no northface gear, no stupid looking hat. i haven't left the house since 6pm friday. today i have to go rehearse and then to some damn pot luck even though janet is playing at the super bowl half time show. paco says smoke pot, say good luck, and watch janet rock out instead. his fave song is black cat. yep so i think ny makes me lazier than la. i have this whole list of errands i have to run - all errands that take place in my apt. well one outside that has been on my list since like the summer time. if i had a car and were in californ i wouldn't be so lazy i think. because going outside is a pleasant experience. it worries me that i can't feel the sun when i go outside. it's still blinding but i can't feel its warmth. winter in ny must make me extraordinarily depressed but then paco reminds me that we're in it together and i feel alright. oprah turned 50 last thursday. we couldn't make it to her bash, but happppy birthday oprah! we love you! oprah never used to make me cry until i started damn drama school. now i'm a total sap. so oprah had this bday show and i cried when tina turner came out to surprise her. my roommate has dvr/tivo and so i watched back to back oprah. the next show was about internal organs and i started crying when the doctor brought out these hearts, livers, lungs, reproductive organs, a five lb. bag of fat and showed how humans damage their bodies. when paco came home yesterday, i gave him a check up, nahmean? he says the agents were on his tail but he lost them in tribeca. more on his whereabouts later. if only i could go outside and feel the sun, not wear socks, feel the wind in my hair with the windows rolled down, and take paco to see lucky. but for now we'll wait to see lucky in vegas. spring brrrrreak!